What I need more than anything is hope...
Writing gives me hope. Exercise gives me hope. Sometimes, other people give me hope.
So, here I am tonight, laying it all out on the line: I NEED HOPE!
I need hope that somehow I can find my groove. That I can indeed take care of myself. That people still believe in me, even when I feel like I'm hitting walls week after week.
I was doing so well in the beginning of the summer with bootcamp. And it's not that I'm doing terribly bad now or anything...I just can't seem to find that flow...It's one obstacle after another.
The fourth of July, working extra hours, a huge wedding in which all four of our family members were part of the wedding party, getting sick, my blood sugar dropping low during exercise, getting sick again...These are all valid and very real issues that have come my way over the last month, but I am tired of excuses...and I'm ready to take care of ME again!
I REFUSE to give the thief of time or distraction any more victories. I will go to the Y tomorrow! I WILL exercise harder than ever! I will make you proud of me! And I will make me proud of me too!
And, then, when I go to bed tomorrow, I will have more hope than I have tonight!
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